Ringing in the new year

Our tradition for new years is to hang out with friends until the wee hours of the morning and down non alcoholic sparkling cider...well our friends here do not celebrate new years so it was just us, but we did find a carbonated apple drink called appy fizz.
I skyped with A and rubbed it in her face that we were in 2010 way before her (by 10 1/2 hours)... This different time zone thing has its perks at times.
Z's quote of the evening " 2010 is the year of the cynics, we are very optimistic that this will be our year."

so this is Christmas...in curryland

Here are a few things that made my heart merry and bright this Christmas:

• We hoarded all the apple juice in the city and enjoyed homemade apple cider all season long
• Z Downloaded 'A Christmas story' from Itunes...I debated about playing it over and over for 24 hours just like TBS does every Christmas day.
• Last year Z and I saw a live performance of the nutcracker...this year we listened to the soundtrack and danced around like 5 year olds.
• Our door bell rang twice at midnight on Christmas morning...we really did not want to answer the gate...then I got a text message from S, 'Hey open up! 2 idiot Santas are at your gate.' So we quickly got up because I wanted to see Santa! ...S and her brother were outside wearing Santa hats and bearing gifts for us - Woohoo PRESENTS!
• We opened boxes that our families sent us...I was so happy to get sheets for Christmas...I would have never imagined in a million years being so happy to see fitted sheets as a Christmas present...thanks M & Dabby
• Z bought me a Christmas bouquet...the best thing was it only cost $4...haha, don't hate because everything is so cheap here.
• Finally and most importantly: We were able to talk with family on Christmas, Skype is such a blessing!

To Dabby with love :)

We sent this package a week and a half ago, the postal workers in curryland said it would arrive at Dabby's door on the 24th...somehow I am skeptical. Anyways I am so proud of Z for 'wrapping' the package so well. At first he went to the post office with the box securely wrapped up in packing tape...little did we know that in order to send international packages the box has to be sown shut! So Z bought some fabric and meticulously sewed all openings. Then we jumped on the motorcycle and headed back to the post office...on the way to the post office one of our tires went flat - ugh! another set back, at this point I was beginning to wonder if the package would ever get mailed. Thankfully some good natured mechanics patched up the tire quickly, in total the tire set back only took 45 minutes (I am really astounded when something takes less than an hour to accomplish here). At the post office they inspected Z's box sewing technique and it passed their requirements. We decided to send it 'speed post' - doesn't that sound fast and efficient!
Anyways Dabby I hope the package gets to you for Christmas...mainly because I am chuckling in the inside imagining how in the world you are going to get it open :) Last year on Christmas Z decided to wrap Bro bro's present with duct tape and zip ties, it took him 15 minutes to open his Christmas present which ironically was a gift card. What can I say, we enjoy receiving entertainment when we give gifts.

HO HO HO!

If Mrs. Clause and Chucky had a child this is what it would look like:

*Some American friends kept telling me about these creepy Santa masks they have been seeing around town. Well they were right! Scary huh? I decided I could not keep the creepiness to myself.

-tough questions-

• How do you explain stockings? Yesterday R inquired why we had socks hanging up. I then proceeded to tell her that we put gifts in each others socks the night before Christmas. Feet are considered physically and spiritually dirty here...so R is probably thinking "These people are nuts why would you give someone a nice present in a dirty sock!"
• "What do Christmas trees have to do with Jesus?" - this question was asked by S my Muslim language helper. My response -"They have nothing to do with Jesus. Christmas trees are from a historic Germanic holiday called winter solstice. We are from a German background so we put Christmas trees in our home." I left out that winter solstice is a pagan holiday for fear we would be labeled as pagans...we definitely don't need anymore labels.
• When we have been asked about Santa Clause I talk about the historical person Saint Nicolas...I don't go into why people portray him as a hefty fellow who rides around in a flying carriage and fits down chimneys.

Lets face it, even I find it a bit baffling why we do the things we do on Christmas and I have celebrated Christmas for 25 years, I have been a sugar plum fairy, I have been Santa's helper and I have donned tacky Christmas sweaters while singing commercialized Christmas carols. Maybe I shouldn't mention these Christmas experiences in the next round of Holiday Q&A...I have no clue what a sugar plum is.

12 days until Christmas

On the first day of Christmas...da, da, da, da, da...a Peacock in a plastic pine tree...

No really I was standing straight when I took this picture - the plastic pine tree leans a little bit. Finding this tree took some work, there were only 2 seven foot trees in the market last week, everything else was 3ft or smaller...maybe the smaller trees do not lean as much...

My Christmas pride and joy ...our Norfolk Island pine tree. It is native to the South Pacific so does very well in curryland weather conditions...I love this tree - it embodies the Christmas that we are going to have here... freshly replanted and devoid of all commercialism.

...and a peacock in a plastic pine tree!

Karma in curryland

Karma - in my mind I use the term to describe 'what goes around comes around'...Wickipedia gives a slew of Eastern philosophical descriptors that made my head spin...so for the purpose of this post we will stick to my definition. This week I personally have experienced the effects of 'what comes around goes around'...In a previous post I wrote about Z's misfortunes only to have some of the same misfortunes happen to me. I came down with the 'nasty G' and this morning in language class a bird pooped on me! I guess that is what I get for getting a good chuckle at my husbands expense.

Brownie

Last week I was a proud goat owner for 24 hours

This is what I learned from owning a goat:

• Goats are very social - whenever we were around Brownie he was very happy and quiet...
• Goats are very Loud - when Brownie was left alone you could hear his bah's from two blocks away...a man a block away ran up to our house because he thought our goat was dying! Brownie was just displaying his vocal prowess.
• Goats do not require as much sleep at night as humans - Brownie was loud and awake 40% of the night.
• Goats drop poo pellets the size of marbles - they sounded like marbles too when they hit the concrete floor of our garage.

I miss Brownie but owning a goat did not work out very well because we lack spacious land to roam and poo, other goats to keep Brownie happy, and a shepherd...

I am still very fascinated by goats.

Why does everything always happen to Z...

We were on the motorcycle heading to language class...Z felt his Blackberry slip out of his pocket...so he stopped, got off the bike and walked back towards the spot where he thought it landed...he did not see the phone while walking up to its supposed location but he did see two guys look at him and then speed off on their bike - then Z had that sink in your stomach feeling 'uh oh! they have my really expensive phone.'
There is a good outcome to this story but I want to precede the happy ending by describing the array of unfortunate events that have been plaguing Z within the span of 1o days. Oh and another interesting twist to this story...Z's Blackberry is a fake! we did not know this at the time of purchasing - so basically he paid the Blackberry price for a phone that looks and functions as a Blackberry but it will not sync to the Blackberry network because it does not have a valid PIN...because it's a fake. *Don't buy Blackberries off Ebay! Anyways on to the list:
1st - He got a really bad haircut...and not just 'oh it will grow back' bad...I mean really bad! The barber cut his hair unevenly with dull scissors - we did not know haircuts could get this bad.
2nd - Z went to pick up his motorcycle registration...when we got there he had to pay a fine because his bike was registered late. We were really confused...'how can it be registered late when we turned in the paperwork as soon as we purchased the bike?' The answer to that question left us scratching our heads in even more confusion - apparently we have to pay a late fee when the bike is 'registered' late...and the bike was 'registered' late because the government registration office was closed for a four day holiday...therefore causing the paperwork to be 'registered' late and the penalty is a late fine. Is this rational at all clear to any of you? If it is please email us and give us further clarification.
3rd - Z got the 'nasty G'...no not a popular rap album but Giardia...which causes some very unpleasant tummy problems.
4th - Since the weather is so nice we have been having language class on the roof of Mr & Mrs' house. Everyday Z gets pooped on by a bird that has nasty yellow pooh...Myself, Mr & Mrs have yet to be pooped on.
Now back to Z's phone saga...
When Z returned to our bike he told me that he did not have his phone, he thought it dropped out of his pocket and that some perps drove off with it. Being the eternal optimist (even though my blog is not that optimistic) I said 'are you sure you didn't leave it at home?' Because in my mind I was thinking 'Surely some punks didn't just take off with your really expensive Fake Blackberry!' We were only a block from Mr & Mrs' house so we headed there. When we sat down in their house I tried calling his phone - the whole time thinking 'what do I even say to the person who answers? -they will only speak Hindi and they stole from us...' I did not have to cross that bridge because the phone was shut off...which meant they were taking apart the phone to try to unlock the password. You can't do anything with the phone without inputting the password... Kind of nice that even fake Blackberries have the same security protection as the real ones. Mr & Mrs were really sweet to Z, they made him chai and let him vent and come to grips with his loss before starting language class. It was during language that I received a call from one of Z's friends...I knew it was important because Z has strictly warned his guy friends to only call me when it is an emergency, not just when they can not get a hold of him. I handed the my phone off to Z (with some hesitation because it was the last cell phone we owned) he talked to his friend and was quickly out the door...His friend W called Z and one of the perps picked up...so glad they picked up when W called and not when I called, W speaks the language. The perp on the phone stated he 'found' the phone and was willing to return to the rightful owner for a 'reward'...W made arrangements for Z and him to meet up with the perps and recover the fake Blackberry. Z gave them a 500 rps/ reward (which is roughly close to 10 dollars)...and now has his phone back.
Today we are so thankful for friends like W, understanding teachers like Mr & Mrs, medicine that gets rid of giardia, and perps who do the right thing in the end.

Byriani

The mother of a friend comes over to my house weekly to give me Indian cooking lessons - It is much needed because I am just as clueless about the cuisine here as well as the language...which brings up another hurdle - my cooking teacher does not speak a lick of English! So lessons usually go like this: she gives me one simple command...I don't understand...then she repeats herself a second or third time with hand gestures...the hand gestures are very helpful and I finally understand her instructions...then I do what I think she is telling me to... she quickly takes over the task herself because I am not doing it right...once she has done the task a couple of times she has me mimic her...This must be what Helen Keller felt like.

This week's lesson I learned how to prepare Byriani...which is rice, spices, meat and fat mixed to perfection. It is one of my favorite dishes here.

So I always try to get on my teacher's good side...I don't know how my compulsion to be the teachers pet began, all I know is that it came about around third grade. I am now a grown adult and I am still sucking up to my teachers. I have been known to bring baked goods to Mr. and Mrs on a handful of occasions. So to win over my cooking teacher I prepped my kitchen to a tee...I had all the spices on one side and the fresh chopped ingredients on the other...I meticulously chopped onions and had them sitting in a bowl...I guess I envisioned the ease of grabbing ingredients that one would see on a cooking show. Anyways this work did not earn me brownie points - Come to find out you keep one onion whole for this recipe...and the others had to be sliced...She took one whiff of my spices and did not like what she smelled so she had Z go over to her house and grab her spices. So the entire cooking process took much longer than it should have because of my teacher's pet tendencies.
On a happy note the Byriani tasted wonderful...this woman knows her stuff.

My poem:
Byriani is a wonderful meal,
I eat it with gusto and zeal.
I will make some for you,
You will like it too!

Decor

My extent of Thanksgiving decorations...place mats and napkins :)

I tried Martha Stewart, I tried...

M sent me the place mats and napkins in my Thanksgiving package...when I took the tags off they said 'made in India'...so now they are back Home.

Friday treats...

I am so happy today is Friday...I have the entire weekend off from language classes - woo hoo! In the spirit of celebration I went to this little shop

It is a bakery located a block from our language classes. They do a really good job making European and American sweets. It opened a month and a half after we moved here. I think it was sent here from God specifically for me :) Anyways today I bought my usually wheat bread and I picked up little treats...

Mmmm...Happy Friday to Me! Refined flour and sugar, just what my brain needs after a long week of language.

*After this picture was taken I ate the chocolate doughnut on the right.

On another note today is E's 1st birthday. Since she is far far away I celebrated by looking through some pictures of my cute little niece and getting a little misty eyed...I can't believe how fast she is growing!

our hood

My favorite place to go is our roof (it is like a balcony/patio on our roof). So I sit up there with a cup of chai or green tea in my hand and just take in the fresh air, the sights, the sounds, and the happenings of our neighborhood. Our house looks out to an open field. We see all sorts of animals roaming around this field - cows, goats, water Buffalo, and horses. We also see children flying kites and chasing stray dogs...very interesting hobby choices I know...Anyways like I said it is my favorite place.
So today I saw the sun setting so I quickly got my tea ready and scurried to the top of the roof to enjoy it. I tranquilly sat there and observed...and then sadly below our house I saw 'A couple of guys, they were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood...' (Thank you Will Smith for your contribution to my blog). 'See what had happened was'... there was a very disheveled woman, she was not acting in her right mind and she was meandering around the field. I had never noticed her in our neighborhood before. Well this group of boys in our neighborhood who I call the 'little jerks' were mocking her.
Before I continue with what further transpired I need to explain what kind of previous behavior warranted the name 'little jerks'. This group of boys are in the age range of 9 to 13 years old. Z has had some run ins - they were blatantly disrespectful to him which is very unusual because most children give respect to anyone who is their elder...but not these little jerks - they walk around here like they own this block. They suffer no consequences for their actions from their parents. They love playing little pranks on us, such as ringing our door bell and running away. I think it is funny that they are trying to prank Z - they obviously don't know who they are messing with...Z's college pranks were pretty ruthless.
Anyways you are probably thinking they are not so bad - and people I thought the same thing as you until today...Today I saw the little jerks turn into little demons! So they were not satisfied in merely taunting and harassing the poor mentally handicapped woman. Mainly because she got the best of them, as they were closing in getting closer and closer she scared them away with a crazy look on her face. Not willing to let her get the best of them they proceeded to throw rocks at her! Luckily they have puny arms and they missed her...They stopped throwing stones when they realized more adults were coming out of their houses. When Z came up to the roof I told him what had happened. The lady was still in the neighborhood and the little jerks were watching her from the other end of the block. We were watching the little jerks...making sure they did not mess with her again.

~Thankful~

I have not had the best attitude lately...I have been mopey a lot during the past two days. Today I made a conceded effort to stop the moping and think of things I am thankful for...
~ toilet paper: I know, kind of a superficial thing to be at the top of the list but remember I was mopey at the time when I made the list. ~ Sweat pants (instead of mopey pants) ~ Z. ~ My wonderful family, ~ the thoughtful things that my wonderful family do for me (aka: care packages full of Thanksgiving food) ~ Cooler weather: AMEN! it was 118 degrees when we arrived in Curryland, now it is a very pleasant 76. And mostly I am thankful that ~ God is in control: ALLELUIA!
After I made the list the moping subsided, now I am ready for Thanksgiving - 12 days! Woohoo!!!

that just ain't right...

Last night we were invited to a friends house for dinner. We love the family and also the tasty Indian food they prepare. The ladies of the family are going to start giving me cooking lessons...Z likes their food so much that he has dropped hints about cooking lessons for three weeks now.
For dinner last night a dish of brown meat with gravy was served with homemade flat bread. Brown meat means that it either could be A) mutton or B) water buffalo. I am still trying to get used to the latter...And last nights meat on the menu = Water buffalo! My initial impression was that they prepared the meat very well, it was really tender and not too fatty. After a couple of bites they shared precisely what part of the Buffalo we were eating...the (gulp) udders...yes, the UDDERS people!!! Instantaneously I lost my appetite. Z did not mind a bit - that kind of weirds me out as well...the fact Z likes eating buffalo udders.

big city and back

Here is a run down of the highlights, interesting events and disturbing occurrences of the past 96 hours.

• Received 3 care packages!!! Thank you so much M, Dabby, M's sweet friend, and B mania!
• Saw some friends I have not seen in 3 years...so far everything is coming in threes in this list...
• 3rd bullet point.!.
• OK those faint of heart DO NOT read this bullet point, just skip it...I'm serious! When we were traveling to the big city on Friday our taxi driver was going very fast and weaving in and out of traffic. I was feeling very nauseous. At one traffic jam (there were several)...a crowd of people were gathered on the side of the road looking at a turned over truck...so I looked over at the turned over truck (I really need to stop following the crowd)...Beside the truck was a pair of shoes, a pool of blood, and two bones - I gagged, Z did not see any of it, and our taxi driver was the least bit fazed, he just kept on driving dangerously fast!
• While in the big city we had a different (and much safer!) taxi driver...He looked like Santa with a turban.
• We bought Christmas presents for our families back in the States...so it was only appropriate that Santa took us around the city.
• On Sunday we spent some time with a group of International believers...A strange man from Chattanooga talked to me. Later on in the service he tried multiple attempts to take my picture...Z keeps reminding me that I am a weirdo magnet.
• Skipped and played follow the leader with two of the cutest girls in Curryland.
• Almost broke my leg trying to save my husband from a "deadly" mosquito...Z's life is saved, my leg is wounded, and the mosquito died in my fingers!

Mutiny!

Z decided to change things up a bit today, our routine has been the same day in - day out...It was time for an adventure. After Language class Z spontaneously decided that we needed to visit 'Mutiny Church'. Interesting name huh? Actually its name is St. Johns Church...there doesn't that sound more churchy. The history of this church is very interesting. It was built in 1819 by the British whose military occupied hundreds of acres north of the city. There was a revolt in 1857 when the British officers ordered that all the bullets be coated with pig fat...the Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims who fought under these officers were outraged!

The bullet wrappers had to be opened by biting it off and the pig is considered an unclean animal to all the afore mentioned religions. So there was a mutiny and the first shots fired were at St. Johns Church.

We hopped on the motorcycle and headed off, except we really did not know where we were going...so of course we got a little lost. The Indian military now occupies the area that the British once occupied so we had to stop at different check points. At each check point...and sometimes the same check point the second time around...we had to make a lot of U turns, we would ask 'where is Mutiny church?' The soldiers had no clue what we were talking about...we tried every descriptor possible for this church...'St Johns Church', 'Very historic Church', Angrezi (British) Church', 'Famous Church'...One time I think we even asked 'Do you know of any Church around here?' Apparently no one in uniform knew their history. Eventually we found the Church, it was huge! How did people not know about this massive structure? We walked up to the gate...(insert climatic building music)...and it was locked - man what a bummer! We circled the fence and tapped on a second gate a Gardner eventually let us in after he gave us a lecture that we had to call and get permission to see the church. We were shown the inside of the church, there was a very impressive pipe organ and a balcony. Marble and brass plaques were laid in the concrete walls, white pillars stood down the aisle holding up what they could. Birds were flying above the balcony, dust and cobwebs covered most of the candle holders and light fixtures. So much history and yet the building was in a sad disarray.

The church can seat 3,000, nowadays only 60 people meet there every Sunday.

Yesterday I took a 'language learning self assessment'. At the begining of the assessment I was very happy with myself, I was breezing through the questions with glee...Question 6 I can tell people my name and where I am from - Check! Question 9 I know the words for major color distinctions - Check! Question 12 I can give someone directions on how to get from one place to another - um, depends if they are going shopping. Question 16 I can describe what I usually do on the weekend - Check! Question 17 I can request items, discuss prices and handle currency in a situation involving a purchase - Oh buddy I've got a closet to prove it!
Then around questions 25 through 50 I got really discouraged. Question 30 I can lodge a complaint, giving the reasons and details of why I am dissatisfied - Not so much! Question 38 I can persuade someone to do something he doesn’t want to do or to stop doing something I don’t like - I see how this would be a very helpful skill here but I do not poses it. Question 39 . I can describe a complex object, such as a car or bicycle or computer, in detail, using the correct vocabulary - I can't even do this in ENGLISH! Question 49 I can talk to dignitaries or influential people - Lord help us all if I ever talk to dignitaries!
Anyways maybe the assessment was not the best way to start the week.

simple Saturdays

Z and I take one day a week for ourselves. We chose Saturdays. It is nice to have a day that we can stay in our pajamas all day if we want to, eat comfort food, go on a date, and most importantly limit speaking in Hindi! Today we left the house early to go shopping in the morning and eat out for lunch. While shopping we were followed down the street by a woman begging for money. We have a 'don't give money' policy...if we have food we give that instead. In this city the beggars strategies seem to be the same...they try to pester money out of people. Beggars in the capital city have different schemes, on two occasions in the capital little kids have pinched me to try to get money from me...that usually does not evoke me to have compassion, pinching is not how you get what you want in life.
After shopping we decided to eat at our favorite restaurant for lunch...but soon after our lunch I realized we need to find a new favorite restaurant. At the restaurant there was a HUGE group of women playing some sort of lottery...one lady was shouting out numbers while the group filled in tickets. This made it hard for us to have any sort of conversation during our meal. The food was delicious as usual but as soon as we were finished eating I saw a mouse running across the floor! I suddenly remembered that no matter how tasty the food is or stylish the ambiance, this is still India and restaurants do not have health code inspections.
We are now home and Z is watching a football game that took him 26 hours to download from itunes...it definitely feels like a normal American Saturday now.

Wedding season

Countless people have mentioned to us that it is wedding season...I love weddings! To my dismay we have not been at the top of any one's invite list.
We have only attended one wedding thus far, and technically we were not invited...it was blatantly obvious we were wedding crashers, we did not look like neither the bride or groom's distant relatives.
Today we had another wedding encounter, this time on the road. We were stopped in traffic while a groom's wedding procession played music and danced in the street. I did not understand what was so fun about stopping traffic and dancing while cars and buses honked and encroached closer and closer. All commuters seemed very annoyed. I have seen scenes in Bollywood movies where the whole community happily parades down the street preforming a special choreographed dance for a wedding procession. I for one was very disappointed, it was nothing like Bollywood depicted!

the perks:

There is a person to do every job imaginable here...

• After our clothes are washed and dried Z or myself take them to our corner press walla who irons them with an old school coal heated press.


• Our house helper R comes every morning for two hours. She washes dishes, dusts, cleans the floors, unclogs pipes, exterminates bugs...there is not much that she does not do.


• Fruit and vegetable vendors come to our neighborhood daily. I literally walk out my gated garage and grocery shop.


• There is a neighborhood milk man, but he does not deliver cow milk...instead it is unpasteurized water buffalo milk...am I weird for liking the taste of it?


• Our home security system, a guard who patrols the neighborhood at night...while patrolling he either bangs a drum, rings a bell, or blows a whistle. I am not sure what the reasoning is behind the noise but I get pretty ticked when it wakes me up at night.
• I have a tailor who makes all my clothes...I personally think he does a fabulous job!

The livin' ain't bad, ain't bad at all...

ok, ok...

I have sucumed to creating a blog ... It is mainly for my own cathartic release and for your entertainment because I sure have encountered some crazy things here in Curry Land.
Here is a random list of what I have experienced thus far...



- First evening upon arriving I saw a man riding an elephant down the major highway of the capital city...this made me feel at home.



- A teenage boy climbed the tree in front of our house to look through our window...I yelled at him in English and Spanish because at the time I lacked the capabilities of yelling in Hindi.



- I have taken a 3 hour road trip by bus...I do not want to relive the experience so that is all I am going to write about that.



- While traveling by bicycle rickshaw a man on a motorcycle was too busy staring at us and not paying attention to the road that he ran over a little boy, the little boy had to be taken to the hospital because his leg was broken...I now cover my head while traveling for every one's safety.



- In order to rent a house we had to give our landlord a copy of our marriage licence.

- At a restaurant we were mistaken for other foreigners (because we all look the same...) who a week prior had walked out with out paying their bill...We straightened the situation out and Z mended international relations by paying for their mistake...If the white guy who ditched his bill is out there reading this you owe us $2.

Crazy things happen but it makes this place even more endearing to us. Z and I love it here and we plan to experience all the adventure, culture, and laughs this place has to offer.