holiday check list

As a tired prego right now it is a wonder I am getting anything ready for Christmas. At first I tried negotiating with Z. The negotiations went a little like this:

Me: 'Z, if you want to have a decorated Christmas tree to look at this year you are going to have to do it yourself.'
Z: ...'so you need me to help you put up the tree?'
Me: 'let me rephrase, if you want the tree up you are going to have to do it alone...by yourself.'
Z: 'ok, I will see if Art wants to help me put it up.' (I would like to mention that last year I put up the tree by myself so I fully expected Z to be capable of doing the same this year)...anyways the tree is up, no matter how patchy our normally loving tones were the day the tree went up.

Today I took Z's example in consideration and decided to call on some friends of my own to help me pull off Christmas cut out cookies. In four hours we...
~ mixed, rolled out, cut and baked cookie dough.
~ mixed up a VAT of frosting...seriously I think there is approx. 2 gallons of homemade cream cheese frosting in my fridge right now
~ made cup cakes
~ piped icing on cookies and cupcakes
~ and cut out Christmas trees out of construction paper for a kids' craft that I am doing

Tomorrow I am really tempted to call the same friends to help wrap presents, bake cinnamon rolls, and run to the market to buy my last minute gift items...because honestly I don't see how I can get it all done without them. The moral of this post...when you are 7 months pregnant get you some friends that do not celebrate Christmas so that they can help you pull off yours.

Third Trimester...

is kicking my butt! In the first trimester I was still doing Zumba workouts, second trimester had to cut out the zumba but could be on my feet for hours with no reprocussions. But now sore and achey muscles inhibit much of my day to day movement. The extra 25lbs I am carrying around these days have added to my lethargy. And I now have to chase down every meal with a tums or two. I blame it all on Z, here is why. At our last doctor's appointment our doc discovered that baby B is rather large for how many weeks we are at. Many times throughout our marriage I have been so blessed to be married to such a big strapping man...the downside however is big strapping offspring!

There is some silver lining in this final trimester:
~ back rubs on demand...Z is being so good to me.
~ pedicures...even though I can still bend over and touch my toes, big strapping baby gives me a good whack in the gut when I do. The last pedicure cost me approx. $8 (including tip)...so worth not having internal organs abused.
~ personal space...it used to be that in public I had to fight for position and space every where I went...mainly because the population is so large here. Now days people are courteous! It is a great change of pace.

The usual culprits

Here are my reasons/ excuses for why I have been such a sorry, low-down, crummy blogger for the past two months:
1) lots of traveling... At least I love traveling because Z and I seem to do a lot of it.
2) Internet problems...For some reason our Internet provider has a STINKY bill pay service and every time we pay our bill they lose our checks, so then our Internet gets cut off for a couple of days. And then we have to call the bill pay service's call center...why there are call centers in the land of obsolete customer service is beyond me.
3) Naps...this is probably the major culprit for my lack of doing anything productive with my life right now. I could probably win a world record for the longest amount of time spent napping.

It's official:

Tuesday will mark the 2 year anniversary of this blog. As I look back over the funny stories based on weird situations here in Curry Land I have to remind myself America is way weirder...ie: this picture of Z and a barely clad homeless man in Washington DC.

Anyways the point is that writing this blog has been a lot of fun and a lot of laughs (uh..yes I laugh at my own jokes). I am sure that I would have had just as many laughs at my own expense or other peoples had I stayed in America but I would have missed out on one of my life's greatest adventures.
So here is to many more blogging years about Curry, a pest infested home, silly cross-cultural misunderstandings, more driving accidents, new family traditions, and new family members. Thanks for reading!

London bridge...

may not be falling down but Z and I recently read an article that said in 2 to 5 years the Taj Mahal will. The river that runs along the backside of the Taj is severely low and has been for many years now...the silty residue left on the shoreline is not a proper foundation for the structure and many believe it has already started to sink.
I propose that the government partner with this well know company to rebuild and restore the structure...

If you are interested in buying this Lego replica of the Taj it will only set you back around $500. By the way baby B told me that this is what it wants for Christmas this year ok Dabs :)

Dreams do come true!

Look what we now have in Curry Land!

I should have had a before and after picture taken...because after this picture was taken I went inside and ate 3 baskets of bottomless chips and salsa, a chicken ranch burger and french fries...I know I'm a Heifer!

Special shout out to

Jo! Because...

I miss you!

Costume Party

Last weekend a friend threw a mystery birthday party for her 8 year old daughter. We were all assigned characters and showed up in costume. My character...

a pregnant cheerleader...Dabs would be so proud!

On top of mystery solving there were some great games...

 This one was my favorite. Once our teammate had the shower cap and shaving cream set to go we all stood behind a line and threw Cheetos balls at her head. The team with the most Cheetos in the shaving cream won. Whenever the Cheetos didn't quite make it to the shaving cream Faye would pick them up off the floor and pop them in her mouth...needless to say we did not win.

 The next competition was designing clothes out of newspaper. This is my team's design...Paris here we come!

 Z's team designed a Roman soldier costume..rather creative don't you think.

 Speaking of Z he came dressed as a nerd...and decided to try corny pick up lines on the pregnant cheerleader all night.

the dangers of...

Tiger balm. From what I know about it it is a medicinal ointment mainly used in Curry Land #2. The last time I was in Curry Land #2 I got a foot massage like I so often do. I had a really nasty bruise on my leg and the masseuse noticed it and whipped out a jar of tiger balm and rubbed it on my bruise. That evening I noticed that my bruise was no longer a bruise but a red swollen, itchy welt. Well now months later I have an indentation in my leg where the bruise had once been. Now I know why they call it 'tiger' balm...because of its flesh eating properties.

It's all about...

who you know and where you come from. This saying is even true in Curry Land. The city we live in, which another CA affectionately refers to as the 'Rut', is known throughout Curry Land as a crime hub, a den of thieves if you will. Whenever we are traveling outside of our city and tell people where we live, immediately we get the same shpeel...'that is a dangerous place to live.' They don't know that danger is my middle name - jk! Really we have lived quite peaceably in the 'Rut'.
We have another CA friend who's name is Don. I knew that his name is not common around here, but is was not till recently that I found out why. A long time back, probably before I was born...a Bolloywood film came out about a powerful and dangerous gangster who was named Don. This fictional character now lives in infamy all over the country.
So we can honestly tell people 'We are friends with Don and come from the 'Rut'...which would be the equivalent in American as saying 'We know the godfather and live in the bronx'...nuff said, instant fear and respect.
*Disclaimer: I am sure the Bronx is nice.

Sixteen weeks!

Here is the low down on how pregnancy in Curry Land is going so far...

• I now have a belly bump! Which I want to show off with pride, but showing signs of pregnancy here is Curry Land is not a good idea. Women will come up to you and urge you to where looser clothing, or try to cover your baby bump with anything available, they will even tell you to not come out of your house...it's like I have been stamped with the scarlet letter.
•  At least I do not have to worry about strangers coming up to me and talking to my belly or trying to touch my belly...Pregnant bellies seem to be pretty much off limits here.
• I thought registering for baby gifts would be so fun...boy was I wrong! Because of  life here anything for the baby needs to be washable and reusable, no such things as land fills. For practical reason we have to stay away from disposable items, heavy/bulky items, battery powered items, and items that run off of 110 volts. I had no clue how much baby stuff was disposable, non washable, battery powered and runs off of 110 volts!
• My brain has momentary lapses of mush...yesterday's menu was chicken and rice so I pulled out frozen chicken, thawed it and went to put the seasonings on it...the chicken just didn't look right, it was a really dark color but it didn't have a bad smell. So I went ahead and cooked it. After Z and our friend Art took a bite they looked at me and said this isn't chicken. Turns out it was buffalo...how did I confuse red meat for white meat?
• On the same lines of having a mushy brain I also have lost my internal GPS for the time being. Z has no internal GPS so we relied on mine constantly...so now days we just get lost everywhere we are going and constantly take wrong turns. At first Z thought I was getting lost so much due to carelessness...and I was adamant that 'I was not lost and knew where I was the whole time', now I have finally come to terms with what these hormones are doing to my brain functions.
• My sweet friend K gave me her lifetime supply of Bum Genius reusable diaper system...Thank you K, you are AMAZING! And these diapers are AMAZING, although I may be singing a different tune once I have stinky, potty filled reusable diapers.

Curry Land pedestrians Beware!

So I am learning how to drive a 5 speed...finally! And I am also learning how to drive on the left side of the road at the same time...very difficult. I am actually having a harder time adjusting to my new surroundings behind a wheel than the whole clutch/shifting thing. Not only is  driving on the left side difficult but there are all manners of vehicles and modes of transportation on the road. Bicycles, ox carts, and pedestrians are the slowest and the hardest to dodge. For some reason the bicyclists get spooked and swerve towards the car while being passed...gives me a heart attack every time, the ox carts...well they are just big dumb animals, and the pedestrians...they do not pay attention...in fact they put themselves in harms way by darting out in the road.
On my first attempt driving on my own there was a pedestrian in the middle of the road, I honked, I yelled, I did anything I could to get his attention so that he knew there was traffic coming. I finally had to slam on my brakes, which I did not do with greatest finesse and the car stalled, bucked forward and hit the pedestrian right in the thigh! I was shocked that I HIT a person, he was shocked that there was a white lady driving a car. Fortunately there were no injuries to the pedestrian.

The Help

I really want to see that movie...the book was Awesome! But anyways this post is really about my Help-less situation.
A month ago Rosy did not show up for four days, she claimed she was sick but she did not call to notify me that she was sick and not coming to work. So I did what any employer in the U.S. would do and I cut her pay for the days she did not work. Which is not common practise here in Curry Land but Z and I find that it works for us. This month she did not show for five days. I called her to ask when she was coming back to work and she told me she would not be back until I raised her pay. So what I can gather is that the five days off was sort of a strike, except we don't have an official work contract nor are there any unions around these parts. So I informed her that she would not be getting a raise and this months pay would be cut because she did not come to work. Two days ago she came by the house to negotiate 'the strike'...I was then able to explain how ordinarily we give raises based on job preformance, coming to work everyday, and tenure. At this time a raise was not warranted so Rosy has decided to no longer work for us.
I keep replaying the ridiculousness of the situation in my head. What if I did not go to work until my boss gave me a raise...FYI for all those who have bosses don't do that, it doesn't work - and that my firends is my speech about employment.

Nutella

...If you live anywhere outside of the continental U.S. then you better get used to this stuff because you can find it everywhere! Sadly, however, you can not find peanut butter everywhere. Nutella has never been my favorite...in fact I have avoided eating it for most my life. Now a days it is a different story, I am suddenly craving this stuff...weird huh? What would be even weirder if I suddenly started craving brussel sprouts because man I really don't like those things.

Z's new chore

So a couple of days ago we were noticing that the ant population inside our home was diminishing, as well as the cricket population. It was such a relief to not constantly battle with ants crawling on the counters or struggle with interrupted sleep as crickets chirped all night.
I then realized why the bug population was diminishing...we now have baby FROGS in the house. Can I have any break from pesky critters inside my home?!? Frogs do not belong inside, they are definitely outside creatures in my opinion so when ever I see one I immediately call for Z to catch it and throw it outside. 'Why does Z get the honor?' you may ask...well 1) he is a boy and has way more experience catching frogs, and 2) frogs pee on your hand when you catch them.

Curry Land baby tips

I am sure there will be multiple posts concerning tips I am given by locals as my pregnancy progresses to show. As for now I've only got the skinny on two tips, but oh they are good!

Tip #1: Z and I refer to this one as the Pretty Baby by Osmosis Principle. In order to ensure that you have a pretty baby you must hang up random pictures of pretty babies and stare at these pictures frequently. Then when you deliver your baby it will be just as pretty if not more so than the pictures you stared at. So Z is currently hanging up pictures of himself throughout the house...jk

Tip #2: If you drink two glasses of buttermilk a day while pregnant your baby will have fair skin. Rosy asked me if I was going to take her up on this tip and my reply...'if my baby comes out any fairer than us then it would be as white as a sheet of paper.' Besides just between you and I, drinking two glasses of buttermilk a day would make my complexion resemble a sea sick green color.

Ants Everywhere!

Somedays I feel like I live in the great outdoors...primarily b/c the great outdoors comes freely indoors around here. My newest battle = Ants. They have taken over my kitchen. Since I can not use insect killers I came up with a different battle plan, boiled water. Not only does it take care of the ants but it disinfects my counter tops.

new family member

We're having a BABY! I am currently 11 weeks and feeling great, luckily I am in the small percent (25% to be exact) of women who do not experience morning sickness...YES!!! Here's a rundown of my pregnancy so far...

• everyday I crave tomatoes...this is definitely Z's baby
• during our first ultrasound our baby was punching and kicking its arms and legs the whole time
• I am trying to get used to sleeping on my left side...so needless to say I am tired all day due to lack of sleep
• I am incorporating ground flax seed in most dishes...this way Z stays away from my chocolate chip cookies :)
• We already have names picked out for a girl or a boy
• I have an unexplained urgency to bake something daily
• at age 27 I am experiencing acne for the first time in my life
• to keep myself in shape during the pregnancy I am doing twenty minutes of Zumba a day...this baby is going to have rhythm!

New Wheels

We are the proud new owners of a Toyota Etios. There is new car etiquette here in Curry Land...

1) You must NOT take off any of the plastic seat covers, mirror covers, or factory stickers

2) There is a new car red ribbon attached to the hood, that red ribbon must stay on for up to one year of the cars purchase...Just so everyone knows it is a new car.

3) you have to buy boxes of sweets for all your friends and neighbors so they can celebrate with you.

4) The car must be washed everyday

I can already tell you we have not abided by all these rules...otherwise owning a car would be more exhausting than the convenience it brings in transporting one's self.

our growing menagerie

To live in Curry Land you have to be pretty comfortable with living close to wildlife, ie: the Asian house shrew that still visits us from time to time, Tommy the Tom cat, the birds that built a nest in our patio light fixture...and now our newest recruit...Larry the lizard!

He hangs out in our garden or our patio eating insects...thank you Larry for eating insects. Rosy does not like Larry, she is scared of him...although I have demonstrated for her time and time again that he will not bite. That is the cool thing about Larry, he is chill - no fast movements, no sneaking under door cracks, and no trying to knock over our trash cans. 

For Mango Lovers

try Z and Me's newest invention: Mango sundaes!

Step one: puree fresh mango, heat in a saucepan with lime juice and sugar. Once sugar is dissolved take off the burner and let cool

Step two: Scoop out generous helpings of vanilla ice cream into bowls...this dessert has fruit in it so it is OK to be gluttonous.

Step three: Top your ice cream with salted peanuts, mango sauce, and chocolate syrup - you have to have all ingredients for the full flavor bursting effect!

*disclaimer: I am sorry to those who are allergic to peanuts, mangoes, or chocolate...Life has dealt you a rough hand and you are so much the stronger for it.

pool party!

so some friends dropped their pool by our house for a day...and we ended up holding on to it for an entire week...they asked us relentlessly to give it back and finally we caved.

I keep dreaming about this pool though...it was sooo cool and refreshing, and looked so inviting sitting in my patio under the shade. So I am now determined to buy a pool very similar the next time we are in the capital of Curry Land. Not only do I dream of owning such a gem, but I also dream of throwing pool parties...complete with buffalo burgers, ice cream sundaes, and inflatable pool toys. Now all I need is this pool, and people to come to my parties :)

Trying my hand at something new

- Literally...I traced an outline of my hand and filled in in with Henna. This is a picture of my second attempt at doing the design on paper...

All I need now are a couple of hands to practice on...any takers?

I laugh everytime...

I am so thankful for the creatively funny person who put this chart together. Leggings have become a big thing here...and some of the leggings come in skin tone colors...SO WRONG! Every once and a while I have a mental freak out when I see a teenage girl walking around with NO PANTS...and then I look closer and realize whe is wearing nude color leggings - Why oh why?  I will try to discretely snap some photos of this new trend so that you can full know what I am talking about. 

attitude check

April and May I found myself down in the dumps A LOT! There were extenuating circumstances that kept me in the dumps: ie.
Our house was broken into and electronics stolen, a middle ear infection, no Internet or contact with the outside world for long periods of time, and last but not least - sweating...lots of sweat!
I tried lots of things to try to get myself out of those slumpy dumps like ice cream, rainbows, and balloon animals - it was to no avail...
then finally I had an epiphany to write a Curry Land Top Twenty list - Julie Andrews is right folks...you just simply remember your favorite things...anyways on with the Top Twenty list.

- Driving through villages
- The lights during Diwali
- Curry Land food
- the clothes
- Shopping!
- The birds out on my patio, and their songs all day long
- The tropical trees and flowers
- The smell of our flowering jasmine plant at night
- Beautiful marble floors
- Grand historic monuments
- Women walking by in their colorful suits & Saree's
- Henna
- Rosy (house helper)
- the Riz family (close by neighbors)
- Fresh seasonal fruits & veggies
- The thrill of riding a motorcycle with Z
- How cute the children look going to school in their uniforms
- Curry Land skin & hair beauty treatments
- Handmade furniture and home decor
- The challenge of using squatty potties

After getting out of the dumps I see Curry Land more clearly and can definitely add much more to this list day by day.

Even though we have been away from the 'Mother Land' for almost 2 years now, there is still some sort of deep level unconscious tie to the 'Mother Land'. For example all day I have been craving a ice cold Coke...it just so happens that it is Coca Cola's 125th anniversary...case in point of the eerie sub conscious connection. 

planes, trains, and autos!

The past 3 and 1/2 weeks we have done them all while traveling through Curry Land. And now I really miss my home - In my late teens and early twenties I loved my spontaneous nomadic lifestyle...why am I all the sudden becoming an old fuddy dud?
My new favorite thing right now is the Metro in the capital city. It has women's only cars and is AC...and for a measly $4.50 Z and I can take it all the way to the airport. But still further evidence of fuddy dud tendencies...AC & cheap.

'Livin the dream'

Z and I went away for a week, the place we went is called 'heaven on earth' by those who reside there...I definitely see why, our trip was AMAZING...oh and I have a new favorite catch phrase...

Breathtaking vistas....'Livin the dream'

Cool, comfortable temperatures...'Livin the dream'

Old Mogul gardens to stroll around...'Living the dream'

This cat is...'Livin the dream'

Shopping for Pashmina shawls...'Living the dream'

This is me and my new friends..."living the dream'...actually we are Irish dancing but it definitely looks like livin the dream to me.

Street Fight

the fight went down right in front of our house...Z was working so he missed the whole thing. 'See what happened was'...A young guy on a motorcycle hit a kid who was playing in the road. 1) guys on motorcycles drive way to fast in this country...2) kids are not taught to stay out of the road.
After the accident there was a hushed quiet for about two and a half minutes...that was enough time for a crowd of forty people to form and the older sister of the boy who got hit to get her male family members and neighbors involved. And then those involved male family members and neighbors beat the tar out of the motorcycle guy. The kid is fine, his head was scraped up and he was rushed to the doctor, I am not so sure about the guy who got beat up by three grown men.

where's the nearest lens crafters?

Z's glasses broke right down the middle

he tried fixing them with super glue, to no avail...

FYI-we were like this before we moved here...so no need to fear coming to Curry Land

New COMPUTER!!!

We all remember the old one...

Once Z agreed to a new computer he spent hours researching for a custom built desktop...and here it is folks!

Z did all the work, and I get all the benefit :)

In proper Mooch fashion, I have taken over this computer...thnx Honey.

BTW: Twinings peppermint tea bags are AMAZING, I am on my third cup of this stuff today...Get u some, also get a Z who puts together great computers.

Trash wars

In Curry Land there is one task for one person...for instance the person who irons your clothes would not be the person who dry cleans...another example: the person who pumps gas at a gas station is not the same guy who writes up your receipt. One person, one responsibility...It is the same in our neighborhood with regards to trash pick up.
Sweeper - responsible for sweeping the streets of a particular neighborhood and getting the trash collected. Usually female and very territorial. Demands payment for services from all in neighborhood.
Cura walla - rides around in a open back rickshaw and collects trash door to door, works for the sweeper.
Cabare walla - collects recyclable materials. Pays people by weight for the recycled goods. Self employed.

When we first moved into this house the sweeper came by to demand wages for her services. She was going to charge us a little higher than we were previously paying at our old neighborhood but Z was willing to concede if her work proved better than the sweeper in our old neighborhood. After two days we quickly saw that her work ethic was WORSE! She was taking our trash and dumping outside in front of our garden. So we quickly relieved her of her services.
For the past couple of months trash disposal has been a headache! We have taken it ourselves, we have also hired a different cura walla but he has not been consistent...we have also bribed the cabare walla to take our trash by giving him our recycables for free.
Currently we have a weeks worth of trash sitting in our garage trash bins...how will we dispose of it today? that is the question...

Daily Traffic update

Z and I were sharing a taxi with two other CA's to the capital city...and surprise, surprise we got caught in traffic. While in traffic we laughed when over the radio the live traffic update came on...the report was vague...simply said the roads were jammed...of corse we knew the reasons behind the vague report; 1) there are always jams between 8-10 am, you can set your watch to it. And 2) the are no such things a news helicopters that fly around and survey the highway situations.
And then we thought...'What if there were news helicoptors that flew around and surveyed the highways???' Then we took it farther...what if there were detailed traffic reports not just for the capital city but for the more rural cities in Curry Land as well...
The result would be more detailed reports, such as:
'Broke down rickshaw in south bound left hand lane', or 'Overturned ox cart on Hwy 24', my personal favorite 'Gober slick on Indra Ghandi rd, all you motorists be carefull out there.'

Mmmmmm....

While in Coconut milk land we were beckoned by a familiar glowing sign...

 We rushed inside and waited in line...

 it was a worthwhile 20 minute wait.

 One order away from doughnut dreaminess...at this point Z and I were salivating.

Just looking at these doughnuts makes me teary eyed...

I think it has been 2 years since we last had a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

Between the two of us we polished off a dozen in less than 20 minutes!

FYI: Paula Dean has a wonderful Krispy Kreme bread pudding...it is definitely no for the 'faint of heart' aka: those with clogged arteries.

~Dreamy Vacay~

quick update

Just got back from vacation...we went to Curry Land #2 - aka: the land flowing with coconut milk and curry

Before our vacation our computer crashed...so the week before we left was super stressfull, which made us appreciate the breather in coconut milk land even more.

Ain't No Partay...

like a Kite flying Partay! Yesterday was a holiday here to welcome the warmer weather (personally I am not happy about warmer weather). Usually people celebrate the day by flying kites!
We were awaken in the morning at 7am by extremely loud music. No one believes in noise pollution around here (or water and air pollution for that matter). Anyways one of our neighbors had rented two concert size speakers and was blasting Punjabi music for all the neighborhood to enjoy while they flew their kites.
In the morning to keep ourselves sane Z and I danced in our house to the songs that had a really good beat. But by lunch time we were praying for the regularly scheduled 4 hour power cut...no such luck the power only cut off for 30 min. By middle to late afternoon I was starting to sympathize with prisoners in Guantanamo Bay...I had to get out of our neighborhood! We went to a quiet park...normally I would not find this park quiet because the road in front of it was busy and noisy...but compared to our neighborhood  Block party it was a fine reprieve.
The music came to an end at 9pm...and then the music from the surrounding wedding halls started up. Oh how we missed America that day...the good ole' USA, where you can call the cops on your loud neighbors.  

new obsession

OK I confess...I have not been blogging because I have been Kindle-ing...I have always been an avid reader, but that is not really a new obsession...rather the old, long standing kind. No the new thing for me as of late is finding free books for my Kindle...
So right now my Kindle is full of 160 books that I did not pay a dime for...but I keep acquiring new free ones instead of reading the ones I already have...Like chipmunks to acorns, for some reason I am drawn to hording free e books.

mirror mirror...

who's the most talented of them all?...well it definitely is not Z and me! but somehow we won 1st place at Faye's/my talent show birthday party last weekend.

I have our blue ribbon displayed with pride.

But man...the competition sure was stiff!

 There was a puppet show, skit, interpretive sign language...

 ballet performance, a hysterical comedy routine, and singing.

 our talent...we did a pantomime with the theme song from Aladdin.

 Here is our BIG finale...I felt this repercussions of this move when I woke up the next morning.
Just for the record...Talent show b-day parties are a blast, I can't believe I never had one before. Also there was a team Karaoke competition - Lots of laughs Believe me!

 Then there was the usual Cake...

and Presents!

stares and more stares...

People stare here...I was always taught that it was rude to stare at others...but not here, so remind me to never tell my children that because then they will suspect every one around them of being rude. The staring is harmless but because of the social norms that have been ingrained into me by my birth culture some days I get really frustrated with the staring.
I have decided to make a game out of it...from now on when someone stares little will they know that I will now stare back...and I will maintain eye contact until I win this so called staring contest smack down!
I found these simply steps on WikiHow to ensure my staring contest sucess:

• Take a nice long blink and close your eyes tightly right before the contest begins. This will produce tears that your eyes will need to keep moist
• Think of something really sad while staring at your opponent. This will help stop you from laughing or smirking which is not permitted.
• Remember to relax. Too much stress will cause you to strain your eye muscles and could lead to eye strain.
• Open your eyes really wide during the contest and, when you think you are about to blink, open them even wider. This goes against your natural instincts, but will actually make your eyes water, thus keeping them moist.
• Time yourself in the mirror and see how long you can hold it for. Remember, practice makes perfect!
• When you are about to blink, squint and furrow your brow. Again, this will produce tears and help to keep you staring for longer.
• Study the techniques of staredown athletes like Tony Patterson.

...should I know who Tony Patterson is?

Slumdogs

I have a love/hate relationship with stray dogs. My heart melts when they come up to me wagging their tails and begging for food, but then at night I seethe with rage as they bark and howl incessantly!

Right now across from our house there are ELEVEN puppies

 The other day Z and I plotted to take one from the pile and raise it as are very own...then that night we quickly changed our minds when they kept us up with their whimpering.

This is one of the mama strays...I feed her on a regular basis, she has a gimpy leg and I just feel sorry for her, even on days when her rascally puppies have kept me up all night.